Opinion Articles

SOUL MATTERS: Dying man’s finish puts life in perspective
By John Cavenagh

When I was growing up my mother told me about November being the month of the ‘Holy Souls’. I asked her what it all meant. She spoke about my grandfather who had died recently. “He is present in your heart and always will be,” she said. “He is one of God’s VIPs now and looks out for all of us who loved him.” Over the years I have always felt a connectedness with those I have known and loved who have died. As I get older it seems an increasing number of my much loved friends have taken on the task of being ‘God’s VIPs’ too. I sincerely hope they are all putting in a good word for me!!

Some time ago, at a hospital bedside I heard a distressed spouse urging her husband on as he lay dying. The scene was quite different from the usual distressed family trying to cope with the impending loss of a loved one. Tentatively I approached her after she beckoned me to come closer. “Mike’s dying,” she said, and then continued her loving encouragement to him. “Come on Mike, you’re almost there now, just a little further to go.” In her words, she painted the picture of a giant stadium filled with excited people of all the races of the earth who had already died. They were cheering wildly as Mike entered the stadium to complete the final lap after running life’s marathon. The roar of the crowd was deafening as he came into full view. This vast throng of humanity seemed to be welcoming Mike as a worthy entrant in life who had fought the good fight, tried his very best and was now being welcomed home. As he got to the finish line, the cheering lifted even further and tears of joy streamed down the faces of the crowd as Mike crossed the finish line. Mike had gently died as she finished her depiction and she hugged him as her tears fell across his cheek.

Another ‘soul’ had completed life’s marathon and the standing ovation was beyond description.

I learned a great deal that day and my thoughts turned back to what Mum had explained all those years ago. This depiction of Mike being welcomed home and Mum’s story of Grand-dad were describing the same thing. I had a feeling of strange security.

Whenever I am at the bedside of a person near death I often think of Mike and his wife and the gift they gave me that day. It has been a great reassurance on the many occasions when I’ve tried to understand the many struggles of life. Eventually we all get to the finish line and will all be welcomed by the ecstatic crowd – perhaps also known as the ‘Communion of Saints’. Instinctively it might be good to prepare well for our own final marathon. There will be effort required of course and a bit of thinking about our own inevitable death might be very appropriate training. I wonder if additional training could include investing in our meaningful relationships, pondering on the spiritual nature of our being and perhaps most importantly developing a high level of fitness in giving and receiving?

Dr John Cavenagh is the Senior Staff Specialist, Department of Palliative Care, Calvary Mater Newcastle.