Opinion Articles

SOUL MATTERS: Fostering benefits carers and the children
By Maria Murphy

September 16-23 was Foster Care Week.

My husband Phil and I are one of many foster families in NSW caring for a total of over 6,000 children each year. We had discussed foster care before we married and knew it was something we would really like to do.

We worked as youth leaders in our local Church and really love young people. We felt we were in a position to offer a sense of security for the kids who might come into our lives.

Foster care is often a demanding role, and sometimes it feels like a thankless task. One of the greatest challenges for carers is the reality that the child you are caring for may have had many different placements before he or she comes into your family. Their lives have often been severely disrupted and sometimes they have many challenging behaviours as a result of these experiences.

For a variety of reasons, children in care find it difficult to establish positive, warm relationships with people in their lives. Why should they believe that you are any different from the other people who they feel have let them down? When a friend of I didn't have what you'd call a “rainbow” childhood, but I certainly felt safe and secure. Imagine not being able to trust that relationships in your life will remain, or living with the fear that your whole life might be turned upside down without warning. I think we'd all find it difficult to develop positive relationships under those circumstances.

When children you are caring for hav been in lots of situations where the values, rules, behaviours and expectations have varied dramatically, the challenge of creating a routine, boundaries, discipline and clear expectations is even more daunting than usual. And, at the same time as managing those very serious aspects of parenting, we are aware of the children's need for fun, spontaneity, love and laughter.

We are committed to having Hannah (not her real name) in our family and offering respite care to a number of other children as well. We are optimistic that these arrangements will work out well for all of us.

We believe that we can make a difference to the lives of children and young people. It's encouraging seeing the children in our care learn, grow and develop loving and trusting relationships. It's been a real buzz to see the huge progress they've made over time, (especially with the benefit of hindsight).

However they come into our lives, children are a real blessing from God. Whether they are born to us or not, all kids are only on loan. We're simply caretakers while they're with us.

Maria Murphy
Maria is a carer with Centacare Newcastle's foster care program. Centacare has an ongiong need for foster carers. For further information phone 4903 3000.