STORY - "Calocardae: A Powerful Ministry "

“If one member suffers in the body of Christ which is the Church, all the members suffer with that member.”
(1 Cor 12:26)

The Calocardae Team from East Maitland and the Bereavement Teams in Maitland and Morpeth Parishes encompass kindness, caring and compassion in their ministry to the dying, bereaved and their family and friends.

Irene Dixon is co-ordinator of the East Maitland Calocardae Team and the Chisholm Region co-ordinator of the Ministry. Initially Irene felt drawn to the care of the dying when she trained as a nurse with the Little Company of Mary Sisters whose ethos is “No-one dies alone”. Later she trained and worked with the non-denominational Hunter group, Make Today Count. “When Bishop Michael offered the Stepping Stones course, I jumped in. It opened up other possibilities for supporting the spiritual needs of the dying and their families.”

The diocesan based Stepping Stones is a part-time course over intermittent periods of a year, and presented in three specific areas. The first step - We Grieve – involves looking at the attendee’s personal grief and how they process it in their lives. The second step – We Minister – teaches ministry and pastoral care to the dying and bereaved. The final step – We Pray – instructs implementing and understanding the funeral liturgy.

Hopes are high that each parish in the Chisholm Region within the coming year will begin to form grief and bereavement teams with both female and male members. A process of collaborative discernment is undertaken to determine appropriate team members. “Because it is such a sensitive ministry, we have to be really careful.” Members are invited to undertake the training course and are then commissioned to the ministry areas that best suit their gifts. Irene adds, “Members are taught to be companions and to be alert to the privilege and invitation into somebody’s grief and pain.”

The ministry involves a significant commitment of time, especially in larger parishes. Many hours are spent companioning the dying, their families and the bereaved; preparing the funeral liturgy, typing and printing the funeral booklet, preparing the church, attending the funeral, burial or cremation with the family on the day, and conducting follow-up home visits.

Ideally, a minimum of six people is required for each parish Team. Due to the ministry’s ‘on call’ nature and the need to attend immediately to the person/family, members are encouraged to dedicate themselves to this ministry alone. Availability is crucial, even more so in cases of sudden or tragic death.

Some bereaved family members may not have been involved in the church for many years and could feel disenfranchised or powerless within the contemporary church, so Team members simply bring gentleness, love and compassion and don’t “push God”. They believe the most powerful aspect of the ministry is helping all to recognise or find God through the dying person and their family. Irene adds, “I go into the home hoping to help them, but I never come out without the sense that I have been tangibly touched by God, it is the most extraordinary experience. It is so beautiful to be a companion on their journey.”

The dual ministry by Team and priest is proving to enhance the care of the seriously ill and bereaved with many commenting that they felt supported by the community and the priest.

Assisting families to help children and teenagers cope with death or a funeral is another gift of the Calocardae Team. Members are aware that each grieving family is unique, every loss is different, and therefore the methods used to facilitate them are numerous.

A recent undertaking of the Calocardae Team is a regionally based annual ecumenical liturgy for parents and families of babies of fewer than twenty weeks gestation. Irene says, “Those parents often aren’t told they can have a funeral. They have no other ritual, no public recognition of the loss of their baby. This liturgy is thus important and beneficial for the church community and families.”

Irene finishes, “It is a ministry I have so much passion for. It gives an extra dimension to facilitating healthy grieving. It is vital to maintain the dignity of the dying and the deceased.” She believes the ministry helps the dying and their families.

Many words were echoed throughout our conversation: gentleness, dignity, respect, trust, encouragement, support, care. All members of these Ministry Teams personally embody those very words in freely offering their dedication and precious gifts to the dying and bereaved.

Trish Bogan

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