STORY - "Introducing a Companion for our Senior Clergy"

Most of us have at some time cared for an elderly friend or family member. Whether they live independently or are in hostel or nursing home care, family and friends support the elderly in all sorts of ways: attending appointments, liaising with professionals, involving them in family activities, keeping them in touch with the wider world; all experiences that give quality and enrichment to an elderly person’s life.

Then there are personal elements of life that ensure the elderly person’s dignity. We check that they are clean and well groomed. We make sure that they maintain health and hygiene as they begin to fail. We take some action if we feel they are deteriorating physically, emotionally or mentally.

Imagine how different that elderly person’s life would be if there was no one to do all these things. This is a common situation for some of the men who have shaped and served our communities for many years. Have you ever thought about who cares for the elderly, retired and sick priests within our diocese?

Enter Kay Wilson. As I chatted with Kay about her work as Clergy Care Co-ordinator, I was struck by how well suited she is to this new role. It’s a hand-in-glove fit, a sentiment which I think Kay recognises too, when humility allows.

“I’ve been associated with the Religious all my life. I went to school with the Sisters of Mercy at Gunnedah and they had a very big influence on my life.”

This association continued when Kay undertook nursing training and other qualifications at Newcastle’s Mater Hospital. “The nuns there were like family to me. You took your babies back to be photographed. They were wonderful!”

By 1978, Kay had left the Mater after almost 20 years, married and started her family and moved to Lochinvar where she soon began a long and happy association with the Sisters of St Joseph. Kay moved from the hospital setting and took up community nursing in the areas of palliative care and maternity. Soon she began working at the Sisters of St Joseph’s Nursing Home, Lochinvar, where she was Director for a number of years. “It was a beautiful place. It was small and we were able to provide a very homelike atmosphere. The staff really loved the elderly nuns.” When the home closed, Kay continued to work with the congregation, supporting the sick and elderly sisters.
Throughout her time at Lochinvar, Kay says her house was always open to the priests. With a number staying with her on various occasions, Kay gained a firsthand awareness of the issues they faced as they aged or when they were unwell. “It opened my eyes as to who does look after them? Where do they turn?”

Kay felt very happy when, one Sunday at Mass, she learned of the Clergy Care Co-ordinator position being advertised. The need for support for the sick and elderly priests of the diocese was something that had been concerning her for a while. To some extent, she had been informally caring for one of the priests she visited regularly. “I was so happy that they were acknowledging it. I was so aware of the needs."

While Kay officially works 16 hours a week, she considers her role a vocation and says she does “whatever it takes. I consider my role important, to really get to know these people, to build up that confidence; that they can pick up the phone and they know that I’ll either direct them or I’ll do something about it.”

Kay thinks the most significant issue all elderly people face is the challenge of combating isolation and loneliness. She feels that a number of aspects of the culture of priests and religious exacerbate this as they age. Many of the older Sisters, for example, were discouraged from cultivating specific friendships from within or outside their congregation. By the time they are older, their relatives are likely to have died. They were formed in a community which was very institutionalised and in which personal autonomy and decision-making were discouraged or non-existent. Kay believes that Religious face some unique issues as they age.

The priests too, experience some significant differences from other men. “I think a lot of it is due to their lifestyle and what was accepted as the priestly role for so many years. They were in an environment where they didn’t talk about themselves. They weren’t educated to look after their health. Now I’m encouraging all priests to have medicals and other relevant tests.”

Like the Sisters, priests were discouraged from making friends in the parishes (never easy when frequent moves are part of the role) and they didn’t necessarily have close friendships with other priests. Similarly to the Sisters, elderly priests are more likely to be living on their own these days, and the shortage of younger priests means that these men are less able to support sick, elderly and retired confreres.

In short, Kay works with the sick, elderly and retired priests and fills the gaps that can occur when family and friends are not around. She takes them to their appointments and hobbies; assesses their accommodation and health, knows their GP and other specialists, monitors their medication. She supports them as they face inevitable losses such as their driver’s license or their inability to continue in certain aspects of their role. She visits them daily in hospital, and was present at the death of one of the priests. “I think that’s a very important part of it. I prayed with him and I’m glad he didn’t die alone. At Lochinvar, the nuns used to sit with the Sisters when they were dying. It’s just something that I believe is very important.

“I hope the priests might look forward to my visits. Constant visits can pre-empt a lot and I work with them to help them make their own decisions. It’s about getting them the right care.

“They have to be able to trust you and trust your integrity and your knowledge. The nursing knowledge is really very important and also that I’ve worked with the elderly and with the religious for so long.”

While Kay is supporting the sick, elderly and retired priests of the diocese, she has taken the time to set future goals for her role. She says she would also like to work with the active priests in the area of health education and to encourage them to plan for ageing, retirement and possible ill health. Only the Archdioceses of Adelaide and Brisbane have Clergy Care Co-ordinators in place, and Kay maintains communication with her counterparts in these cities.

Kay is employed by the Maitland Central Clergy Fund. Donations to the Clergy Support Foundation Appeal are vital to the continuation and development of this role.

Catherine Mahony

Back to Aurora Homepage