STORY - "Marriage: A Sign of God's Love in the World"

Celebrate love so “that my own joy may be in you and your joy may be complete” (Jn 15:11)

Annmaree and Ray O'Brien, and Sharon and Paul Blyton, believe in the sacrament of marriage so much that they make it their mission to share with others, lessons learnt from their experiences. They choose to spread the word that happy, fulfilling marriages are fundamentally important to the life of the church. Each couple has been married for over twenty-five years, has three boys ranging from 11 to their early twenties, and manages careers and a host of extra-curricular commitments. The Celebrate Love (CL) marriage enrichment program is one vehicle these couples choose to enrich their relationships, live their vocation, and help other couples to rediscover and enhance theirs.

Fairytales read to us as children fed our imaginations and imposed unreal romantic expectations - or are they so unreal? Sharon Blyton, who grew up in Dubbo, believes that her dream of being swept off her feet by a knight in shining armour has come true! Sharon and Paul, from Nimmitabel, met when she was nursing in Sydney . They were married at 21 and have found in each other their lifelong companion and best friend. They trust each other intimately and are committed to living out their common values together. Son Michael lives at home – for the moment - but Chris works in Canberra and Matt's in Zug , Switzerland!

Ray's and Annmaree's (but she prefers Ree) story reads like a screenplay of romance, excitement, and steadfast pursuit of true love, despite some initial reservations from their parents because of their young age. At 18, did they understand their wedding vows and what marriage was all about? Ree reflects, “It is only through the journey of marriage over time, living out our wedding vows every single day, that married couples can really come to understand what that commitment is all about.” Dominic and Jakob O'Brien currently live at home and each is older than their parents were when they married. Young Alex is in Year 5. Any household with three boys is busy, but the O'Briens' ‘open house' policy means that quiet moments are rare.

There are other similarities between the two couples. The four individuals are each the product of large, happy, Catholic families so extended family plays a significant role in their lives. The O'Briens currently live close to Ray's parents and two of his five siblings at Raymond Terrace, and Ree grew up in Morpeth, but earlier in their marriage Ray and Ree lived far from family and that was challenging with little ones. Thanks to Paul's years in the RAAF, the Blytons have lived in three different states and territories. Perhaps part of their motivation to offer CL experiences to other couples originated in the tyranny of distance.

Couples like the O'Briens and the Blytons, who make a happy and fulfilling marriage their mission, choose to develop their relationship rather than just coast along, and encourage others to do likewise.

Both couples are concerned about society's throwaway mentality and intent on instant gratification, so “if it doesn't work we give up and move on”. Marriage requires time and commitment and the O'Briens and Blytons believe that couples need to make time for marriage development, just as individuals do for professional development. The CL program is an opportunity for married couples to rediscover the person they married and why, as well as to learn about what is important to that person today to unlock a better understanding of their relationship. Couples learn how upbringing affects individuals and shapes marriages. It is an experience of self discovery culminating in a practical ‘toolkit' of relationship strategies from which couples of any age, and marriages of any length, can benefit.

Paul and Sharon, Ray and Ree feel a responsibility to present their model of marriage and experiences to other couples, for they believe that the sacrament of marriage is the cornerstone of, and crucial to, our faith community. As Ray says, "The gift of self through marriage includes our spiritual, emotional selves and in so doing makes visible, Christ's invisible love ." The O'Briens and the Blytons insist that their marriages are not perfect, they do not have all the answers, and they are not marriage counsellors, but in CL they offer a safe and sincere network of people with similar values and common interest to help married couples be the best they can be - together.

Scott Moore

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