The Milroys

STORY - "The Milroys were here"
ByTracey Edstein

“God always looks after us - always”
A popular term these days for someone who meets challenges head on and is sure of their convictions is that they have “attitude” (or, in American sitcoms, “attitood”). That would not have been said of Janet and Martin Milroy of Bulahdelah when they emigrated from England to Australia in 1957 with six children, but it would certainly have been an accurate description.

After serving in the army during the war, and then finding farming work very rewarding, Martin felt that the great south land of the Holy Spirit was a place to raise his growing family. Janet's version of events is, “He had itchy feet.” Martin had the full support and encouragement of his wife, as he has done for the sixty (in November) years of their marriage. In fact, Martin married the “girl next door” in Wolverhampton, England so their friendship spans most of their 83 years.

A period of several years elapsed between applying to emigrate and actually sailing, ironically on the “New Australia”. Finally, they arrived in Sydney with the prospect of working for a share farmer on the north coast of NSW. As Martin said, “Unfortunately, he had nothing to share.” This arrangement had been made through the Catholic Emigration Service but the situation gave “pioneering” a whole new dimension and was completely unsuitable for a family of eight. In order to make enquiries about alternative work, Martin had to construct a raft to cross the creek, since he had no transport other than a bicycle. He then walked to the road and hoped - and prayed - for a lift. Shades of Swiss Family Milroy!

Suffice to say that Martin left no stone unturned to find work, and eventually learned how to produce oil from tea trees. While in the view of the emigration authorities, his marketable skills were limited, he is in fact remarkably versatile and had many different careers between arriving in Australia and retiring at sixty. A sound grasp of the Protestant work ethic helped!

In those days the mother's role was very much that of the homemaker, and maintaining a number of jobs to support the family - eventually there were nine children - meant that Martin spent a lot of time away from Janet and the children. He regretted this but there was little alternative. Retirement has allowed him to redress the balance.

After three happy years living in a hostel at Cabramatta, the Milroys moved to Ingleburn and bought land to build their first home. A block opposite the church-converted-from-army-huts suited admirably, although ironically when the parish built a ‘proper' church it was on the other side of the suburb!

Now that there were nine ‘little (and not so little) Australians', getting together the sum needed for a deposit on a home loan was no easy task. Martin had a variety of positions, two and three at a time, and Janet did lots of babysitting. The Milroys' philosophy has always been, and continues to be, that “God will look after us”. Even when they were struggling on the north coast, the children thought it was all a great adventure.

God did provide, through the auspices of The Catholic Weekly ! The banks wouldn't consider a loan to a man with nine children and no credit history, and meanwhile the hostel rent, school fees and the expenses of family life all had to be paid. Despondent after another rejection, Martin was leafing through The Weekly when he spotted an advertisement for the “Hibernian Society's first Building Society loan!” He was at the office on Monday morning, to be told that he had to join the Society, which required a sixpence-a-week insurance policy! He took out the policy immediately.

Martin's generosity in assisting with the building of classrooms at the school his children attended led to the builder agreeing to build the Milroys a basic house using the proceeds of the Hibernian loan. Eventually the home was extended to more than twice its original size, using second hand materials and “DIY” labour. Many years later, the humble insurance policy led to a post-retirement windfall!

While raising his family, building a home and supporting the local parish, Martin also became involved with the local conference of the St Vincent de Paul Society. He had not encountered it in England, but the extent of his involvement was evident when Janet reminded him that for many years, the garage he built did not house their car because it was filled with “Vinnies” donated goods!

When the Milroys arrived at Ingleburn, they met a man with the appropriate name of Grace who was Society president. “We meet on Tuesday. You'll be there won't you?” As Martin said, “I've been involved ever since.”

While Bulahdelah has no Conference, there are always opportunities to help the needy if you are willing. Martin, with Janet's support, has assisted many travellers and accepted responsibility for donated goods.

The Milroys' unswerving Catholic faith has coloured their attitudes to all their experiences, and while life has not been easy, they regard it all as the gift of a providential God. The children all received a Catholic education and a number explored the possibility of religious life. However, in time, all nine chose marriage, perhaps not surprisingly, given their parents' long and happy union.

Asked for tips for a successful marriage, Martin said, “Always offer an apology, and accept an apology.” Janet's advice was encapsulated in one word: “Love”. The couple's only hope for their diamond anniversary in November is to have as many family members present as possible.

The Milroys left Bulahdelah to be closer to some of their children, 31 grandchildren, and nine great-grandchildren. They are missed by the community generally, and particularly by those nursing home residents unable to feed themselves, to whom they fed breakfast several mornings a week. Another wrench was leaving the extensive garden they developed and shared with friends and neighbours. They enjoyed a busy round of farewells before moving to Budgewoi in April.

At one of these, parish priest Kevin Corrigan said to Janet and Martin, “Your lives lived and shared here have placed before all of us what a marvellously powerful force for good in the world is the vocation to live the Christian life. You have shown us the richness, the goodness, the beauty, the compassion and the strength of the Christian life... Thank you.”

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