STORY - "Caring for the Carers"
By Catherine Mahony.

Parenting is known to be a daunting task in our increasingly complex society. So how much greater is the challenge when you are caring for a child who is not your own?

Centacare Newcastle's Children's Services supports about thirty foster carers who, between them, care for sixty children in long term foster care.

According to Julie Watkins, manager of Centacare Newcastle's foster care programme, "children enter the Out of Home Care system when their family of origin is unable to care for them for a variety of reasons. These can include drug and alcohol issues, mental illness and family violence. Many of these children have experienced significant abuse and neglect which impacts upon their behaviour and emotional development".

Children in care may present with a number of challenging behaviours and emotional issues such as aggression, sleeping difficulties, nightmares and bedwetting. They may be emotionally fragile and easily upset. Their experiences have often left them feeling confused, angry and hurt. Because of this, they often have difficulty trusting people and with expressing and receiving affection.

Research shows that providing regular respite for foster carers can be a vital ingredient in ensuring the long term stability of a foster placement.

"Foster care can be demanding. Carers need regular breaks to enable them to sustain the necessary energy and resources to continue to provide the quality of care that these children need," Julie said.

Janet and Scott are foster carers for Nicholas, who will soon turn seven. Nicholas' mother was unable to care for him and he came into care at a young age.

Nicholas has many special needs because of his early life experiences. He can be oppositional and can become quite aggressive.

Janet says that she felt she was cracking under the pressure of looking after Nicholas until Centacare found them respite carers to care for him one weekend a month. "If we hadn't got respite, I don't think we would have been able to continue."

Janet and Scott have two children: Tim, aged 17 and Angela, aged 15. "I'm so proud of them. They have given up a lot of their time with me in order for me to give Nicholas the time he needs. When Nicholas goes to his respite caring family, I can go shopping with Angela and attend Tim's sporting activities. It gives me the opportunity to have some 'one on one' time with my children".

Janet believes that respite has many benefits for Nicholas too. "I think it is having a positive influence on him. He is learning to trust other people. It helps him to branch out and cope with a different house and family and a different routine".

Respite carers, Maria and James and their two children - Andrew,17 and Michelle, 14 - care for Nicholas for one weekend a month.

Maria says that for respite care to work, the whole family has to be committed to it. "You've got to all agree that it's worth doing". She says that the experience has been "a real eye-opener" for her own two children.

She also stresses the importance of ensuring that her children are well briefed about some of Nicholas' difficult behaviours and how best to handle them. "After Nicholas' visits we all talk about any incidents that happened, how we handled them and what we could have done differently."

According to Maria, "some of the rewards we experience in caring for Nicholas are the very small hints he gives us that he is enjoying being here with us, enjoying our company. On the second weekend he arrived for respite, as the car pulled up, I saw him smile briefly".

"The major reward for us in providing respite care for Nicholas is the knowledge that Janet and her family are getting the break they need to continue to look after him.

"And, looking at the bigger picture, in this day and age our community has got to be supportive, where people can help each other. Providing respite care is one way to help the community in which we live."

Names in this story have been changed in the interests of privacy.

Catherine Mahony

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